so i'm helping to teach the cooking class at Nakayoshi Gakkou this summer... yes. little kids with knives and frying pans. not always a good idea. BUT! most of them don't care if what they make looks good or even tastes good since they're only there to make a mess and show their mommies and daddies their iron chef skills. today's lesson was how to cook udon.

"what you want to do is crack your egg into the bowl and then--"

Some kid smashes his raw egg onto the table top, bits of eggshell and yolk oozing through his fingertips.

.....(silence)

not EXACTLY how its done. but close enough for a 2nd grader.

i've helped out at this summer school since it began maybe 4-5 years ago. some of the kids that used to be in my class are now helping to teach it... very surreal. i was introduced to a couple of old ladies as the "veteran". the old one. but it was cool because they remembered me as one of "the best" taiko players at our temple. XD aside from the fact that its been a few years since i've performed with any group...and i'd hardly call myself the best at anything. BUT YEA. i got asked to play on stage for the school today. XDXDDDd

tired now. dinner with heidi and bryant tonight~

11:55 p.m. Monday, May 16, 2005
le sigh

school/<3/life = owie. but yay. but owie. but yay.

when has finals week ever NOT sucked? oh right. never.

i feel so rushed to do everything. between studying my toosh off, packing basically everything i own to store at mirae's, and dealing with hiccups every day (not real ones), when my head hits the pillow at night, i'm DONE. that is, until my alarm goes off 4 hours later to start the cycle all over again. back in high school, i would go to sleep when the sun came up and wake up around 4pm to have dinner for breakfast. whatever happened to that? :P then again, that was when i'd stay up playing that devil game RO. since then, i've been nursing my lingering obsession with harvest moon..... (snes, PS2, gba, etc).

...........rambling.

SO.

i made my schedule for next fall. every day is different, but the worst is tuesday...i go from 9:30am-5pm. this BLOWS. i've just got to convince myself that if i let myself slip, the purple fairy will come eat my toes.......... mustn't fail... purple..........fairy...

i hate when the things in my life are so unstable. i've noticed that i've become a really angry person lately. things happen, i snap... sometimes it helps to beat the shit out of my bed.... but all that does is make me sad about the way things have become.

11:10 p.m. Wednesday, April 6, 2005

1. Post the names of 20 of your favorite musicians.
2. See who can guess which is your favorite song by each.
3. Once someone guesses right, bold that row and include the song.

1. atmosphere - the woman with the tattooed hands
2. usher - can you help me
3. eminem - Hailie's Song
4. m-flo - miss you, dopamine
5. sakamoto maaya - light of love (but really only the instrumental parts)
6. gwen stefani - cool
7. joseph arthur - in the sun
8. sigur ros - untitled #4, viðrar vel til loftárása
9. heather nova - lets not talk about love, all i need
10. poe - center of the sun
11. yellowcard - breathing, empty apartment, gifts and curses
12. michelle branch - desperately, breathe
13. linkin park - somewhere i belong, in the end, my december
14. frou frou - must be dreaming
15. frankie j - we still, don't wanna try
16. avril lavigne - anything but ordinary
17. dido - white flag
18. lifehouse - everything, hanging by a moment
19. keane - somewhere only we know
20. john mayer - split screen sadness, back to you

09:34 p.m. Monday, March 21, 2005
se la vu

aaaaaaaaaaaaand spring break has officially begun. XD

thanks to everyone who wished me a happy bday last wednesday, and for NOT proposing toasts to the sagging boobs that may someday threaten my aged body. my <3 planned a surprise dinner/party for me. YAY HER. YAY EVERYONE WHO CAME.

heather--> told you i'd be making little announcements. ~se la vu~

other mi--> damn. well i forgot to bring your present again.. BUT!!! it shall findest its way unto thee (or whatever) someday soon. glad you made a new friend. hyukhyuk.

br--> i can't believe you drove all the way down to socal only to rinse your mouth with blue poopsoup. but at least u got to wash the taste away with roscoe's chicken and WAFFOS afterwards, right. got to keep one step ahead of our hardening arteries~

noah--> dude. i don't even know.

so the weekend was nice. all i have planned for the rest of the week is... studying for my midterm the day i get back from break. everything else is up for grabs.

a friend of mine got engaged about a week ago. this has spun me off on some really strange ponderings, especially considering she's younger than me. i've always felt like such a kid. until now. i've always joked about getting old with "sagging tits n' pancake nips"... but its not so much of a joke anymore. i feel like i have to grow up... and i don't want to. cuz...

~i wanna be a toys r us kid. ::frolics::

04:16 p.m. Tuesday, February 15, 2005
shootingplaaaaanes

ah yes. updating before class yet again. (only this time i have more than 10 minutes)

so yea. shorthand update!

-LA Auto Show
-watched dirt bike racing at this years Motorcross
-went to a friend's turning-21 party. afterwards, played football in an empty parking lot in the middle of the night with a bunch of guy friends and my <3
-indirectly fed the phantom rats in the school library by dropping crumbs all over the fuckin place XD
-hung out with le mirae and semi-caught up on life. "SEMI"!!! the rest shall come someday.
-DUDE SUPERBOWL SUNDAY ROCKED. (even though i know jack-poop about football) tom brady sucked ass. MY ass.
-i've been watching The L Word lately... ok, i'll admit it.... i bought the dvd set.... OHGODWHYDOILOVETHISSHOWSOMUCH??? season 2 is premiering on the 20th of this month and i'm about to have orgasms while sitting here anticipating its return.
-valentine's day was wa-wa-wa-wonderful. i need to work on springing more spontaneous ideas, if thats at all possible. its hard to be spontaneous on command. =__=
-i took my female to Color Me Mine this weekend, and we sat there for 3 hourssssssss painting each other an airplane. gah. they'll be fired and ready by thursday. weee, says i~

gotta pee, and i doubt i'll be coming back.

12:09 p.m. Wednesday, February 9, 2005
gotta go, gotta go, gotta go right now

10 minutes before i need to leave for class. could there be a more perfect time to update?

really quick!!!

-went to the LA auto show with heather and have since been convinced that i will someday own a hydrogen fueled civic. they look just like the 2005, only there's less space in the trunk. and dude. honda made their first truck...??

-also went to motorcross. er..

well there goes my 10 minutesbye.

01:00 p.m. Thursday, February 3, 2005
you are home to me

where did i go right?

....but lately i find myself wondering where i went wrong. i wish everything were as easy as i said before, and i could fix things with a lost&found box and a <3-you-bandaid.

no matter how hard you shake your foot, sometimes that poop smear just won't come off. so maybe its about time you stopped shaking.

because i'll still be here. <13

03:38 a.m. Sunday, January 9, 2005
ohmyfuckinggod i hate emails

just for shits and giggles, i decided to take a look and see what was piling up in my spam folder.

i see all these notices from my school saying the due date for paying for all my spring classes... has PASSED..??!! apparently, aol thought csulb was spamcrap. so now i'm being charged late fees as well as facing the possibility of having all my classes for this next semester dropped.

this fucking sucks. especially since i've been dedicating my entire xmas break to reading up on chemistry so that i can (hopefully) pass the placement exam, skip a class, and graduate before i'm 30.

but whatever. there's so much junk that's balancing 'just so' on unstable ground. i figure that even if i don't pass the test, i can somehow convince myself that i read an entire chemistry book for fun/enlightenment.

..........ugh. i give myself the chills.

09:25 p.m. Wednesday, December 29, 2004
poot

it's been a few months. and yes. i'm still alive.

blame the lack of updates on my SHACKLES. i guess you could say i've had a limit placed on what i'm allowed to write about.....eh, who knows.

so anyway, i've been in norcal since the 20-something-th, and so far i've done a big fat load of nothing. well... no. that's a lie. i downloaded Master of Magic, some old game i used to play back when my computer was 3 feet thick and weighed 18263498723x more than fat bastard's ass. after rocking that a few times, i've come to the conclusion that my social life is officially dead and that i let it (and possibly wanted it) that way.

maybe it's because i'm so used to being surrounded by people all the time in long beach that now i'm not in the mood to see anyone.

i know that sounds bad.

let me just say that:

#1. the person i spend all my time with in long beach is the reason i can wake up in the morning after only a few hours of sleep and still smile.

and!!

#2. if you called, and i didn't pick up, its not because i'm avoiding you. i "upgraded" my phone's antenna, which is complete bull, because ever since i "upgraded" it, it cuts of every other phone call and holds all my messages till days later. "unassigned number," my ass.

other news-- i changed my major to marine biology. when i looked at my grades for last semester and saw that i got As in every class EXCEPT art, it was like school was doing pelvic thrusts while shouting, "in your FACE! in your FACE!!!" i actually…. HATE.. art. i've never really enjoyed it. the only reason i've stuck with it so long is that everyone around me was always saying "omgomg that's so good, you could do this for a living, blah blah" (which i'm pretty sure was just said to make me feel better about my half-assed projects). i remember back when i was too young to tie my own shoelaces, people would ask me what i wanted to be when i grew up. my answer always had to do with the ocean and anything/everything marine. natural instinct?

i'm not saying my life is exactly the way i want it to be, but this past year has definitely been about straightening shit out.

it's amazing how much one person can change your life.